Every month I invite my community to ask me anything. Here are a handful of questions I got this month. The next batch will be answered next week for Part 2 so stay tuned for that.
Let’s dive in…
How do you find balance between running your business, being a wife and mom, and having any personal time?
I’m not sure I ever find balance but I do think I’ve gotten better at this throughout the years.
First, know what season of life you are in right now and temper your expectations accordingly. If you’ve got a newborn and a toddler finding balance is going to be nearly impossible, you literally don’t have the physical energy to juggle all the balls. If you’ve got teenagers or older kids who can take care of themselves, and drive themselves to work and activities then you likely have a little more space and energy to find some balance. So just be really honest about what season of life you are in.
But outside of that, I think it’s all about intention and being absolutely self-aware and selfish with your time. Most people have more time than they think, it’s just being flittered away on social media or other activities that take us down the rabbit hole. You have to be very self-aware of where your time is going and really audit if that activity fills you up, brings you joy, or is sucking your life force away.
I love having data in order to improve because if I know where my time is going, I can course-correct and find strategies and systems to figure out how to get more of it. I can delegate, I can put my phone away, I can say no – all things that can put more time back in my day for myself and my family.
So you might not ever find balance but regularly auditing your life and learning how to choose the things that bring you peace, over the things that don’t help sooo much. Ignore the backlash you might receive for this. There’s always a critic.
Do you ever feel pressure to be a perfect mom and if so how do you cope with that?
Honestly, no.
And please don’t hate me for saying that but I’ve honestly always had a pretty big level of confidence being a mom. I don’t know how or why but I never had the first baby freakouts or jitters. From the moment I got pregnant and my first son was put in my arms I’ve just had this overwhelming confidence and peace that I know EXACTLY what I am doing.
This doesn’t mean I haven’t doubted myself, we haven’t had issues, pains, tears, and stress. Nothing has been perfect but even on my lowest of days, I just know that I am doing it right and being perfect is absolutely stupid.
I don’t want to be perfect because I want my kids to see realness and rawness. I want them to know that just because you’re an adult, it doesn’t mean you have it all figured out. Just because you’re a parent doesn’t mean you always know what you’re doing.
Part of setting them up for adulthood is letting them know what to expect and I think them realizing that it’s okay just to be messy and unsure is the greatest gift I can give them.
So no, I don’t care what other moms or parents think of my parenting – I trust my gut, I follow my intuition and I messily do this thing and hope for the best.
How do you take care of yourself when you have so much going on?
This goes along with the first question but to put it simply, I make myself a priority. I have too. And again this is easier during some seasons than others but it’s all about intention.
Making myself and my mental health a priority and moving about my day with the intention to honor that commitment to myself ensures I take care of myself. Whether it’s a walk, eating well, talking to a friend, reading a book, spending extra time with my hubs, or getting a mani/pedi – whatever it is, I intentionally create time for me like I would create time for my kids’ appointments or play dates.
You deserve a place on the calendar too.
Got any tips on managing stress and anxiety?
Yes. Two things I want you to remember.
One, “Just say no.”
Two, “No is a full sentence.”
Seriously, stop saying yes to everything. I don’t care what the expectations are, I don’t care what your family or society says or thinks – you are allowed to say no.
You are responsible for creating peace in your life and that looks different for everyone. Don’t allow others to dictate your energy or your happiness.
When I started saying no, my entire life changed for the better. Yes, there has been a TON of negative kickbacks but honestly, if you can get through that and learn to ignore – you’re stress and anxiety will lessen. Promise.
You always look put together, tell me your secrets.
This is so sweet, thank you.
My motto is to dress every day like you were going to meet someone who would change your life. You never know when you’re going to run into someone or where life might take you and I think when we put our best foot forward we invite a lot of good into our life.
You don’t have to agree, just my own personal belief.
I also am much more disciplined when I look and feel my best and so it’s a non-negotiable for me.
And the routine can be simple. You don’t need full TikTok glam to work from home. A 5 minute face with a fun lip, does wonders.
Having a fresh manicure can make you look like a million bucks.
Doing a polished pony instead of a messy bun can make you look more elegant in a snap.
It’s little things and tweaks that make all the difference.
But the biggest thing – is please retire the leggings. I know, most people think I’m a hater but no one looks put together in leggings or workout pants. Wear real clothes, not trends, just clothes that flatter your body shape and you’ll feel sooo much more confident, I promise.